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August 07 rain on my head
July 23 jeeney ki wajah to koi nahi .din khali khali bartan hai
aur raat hai jaise andha kuan
in suni andheri ankhon mein
ansu ki jagah ata hai dhuan
jeeney ki wajah to koi nahi
marne ka bahana dhundhta hai
- the song that seems to have taken over my thot process among other things lately . June 27 PITTER PATTERI hear thunder , i hear thunder . Oh do you ? Oh do you ? Pitter- patter raindrops , pitter - patter raindrops . I' m wet through , i 'm wet through . June 06 titleless .last week there was death in the family circuit. a sister lost her husband to heart ailment . he was a fun guy . the best and almost original enactor of the southern pornography ,used to have us splitting with laughter , also the only other tall guy in the family circuit after rainmaker . though i hardly knew him ,it was heartbreaking news .he was hardly 40. they had a second child last year .i remember my sister saying i should help with nomenclature cos i had a panache for idiocyncratic names . and since they liked flatmate3 z name they named thier child almost on similar lines as surjo.
when you are away ,it hurts more . it did . then i overheard a conversation between my ma(she with me these days )and her ma (on the fon).some legal consultancy . i evesdropped ,to realize ,property issues . the father in law had already taken some legal action to throw her out of he house . it was nt even 13 days yet.
talk about human reactions. of course my sister ,i am told ,is still too much in a shock to realize . much less realize these things. it brings me to the question - human relations these days. wat do we want ? just a shoulder just an ear just a lip just a body just a lending hand just ..... can there be a just in any relation ? how justified is that? wat about wanting whole commitments are they of no worth thses days ? i have accepted momentary styles -that is ,the moment matters ,you dont think beyond the moment .but at least the moment should be compleate .not just some part . as days go by ,the realization sinks deeper that i am an outsider to the new changing emotional dynamics. May 19 recieving prejudiceshe said- what is love?
he said- love is giving for me.
she said- why?
he said- because i love to give.
she said-does the other person always get?
he said - i try to ensure she gets,or else wats the fun of giving.
she says - why do you love?
he says - because i love to give.
fun of giving??? is love really about giving .you want to give so u love - is nt that selfish - inward pointed. when you say you want to give is nt it implied that there is someone on the other end recieving? you love her cos you can give.
my own views on love are a bit different . wud love to share in public space - cos in real life i have often been told its not the right approach . is anyone keen to know?
p.s- all suitors and admirers keep off .
i m looking for a discussion on love .not someone to fall(or rise) in love with me.
had to add that disclaimer given the emotional immaturity of guys these days. ( girls too). |
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